March 12, 2008 5:45PM
Live Your Life Before It’s Too Late
By Alexis Glick
Do you ever feel that there’s not enough time in the day to do the things you need to do? I do.
Every day, I create my list of things to do – and occasionally, I accomplish a couple of them. At random points throughout the day I send myself emails and reminders, hoping that I will compile them all into one list and sit down for two hours and scratch everything off that list. I can’t imagine how gratifying it would be to have no to-do list. I get anxious just thinking about it!
I, like most of you, have become a master at multi-tasking — but sometimes I wonder if that is a good thing. Is it healthy to carry two BlackBerrys (one for personal emails and phone calls and one for business emails and phone calls)? I’m not sure. Does it make my life easier in some ways? Absolutely! As a mother of three and a businesswoman, it allows me to move about and always be connected. If I have to pick up my kids at school in the afternoon and someone at work needs to contact me, they can do so at their fingertips. The problem: you’re always connected and, little by little, the device takes over your life. You become so good at typing with two fingers that it’s faster to BlackBerry someone than to email them from your computer!
Why I am saying this? For two reasons. One, just out of pure anxiety that I just can’t do all the things that I want to do. Two — and much more importantly — because you will never get that “time” back in your life.
Thirty-six hours ago, my husband and I received an email from our children’s nursery school here in Manhattan. One of the teachers, who taught the 4 and 5-year-old children, had passed away in the night. Her name was Lisa Pellettiere. “We are writing with some very serious and sad news. All we know is that she died in her sleep. School will be closed for children tomorrow, Tuesday, so the staff can begin to process this tragic news and discuss how to best tell and talk with the children.”
Lisa taught our oldest son, Logan, for two years and every time I walked in the room to pick him up, I saw her beautiful smile! She always made me laugh and taught me so many important life lessons along the way. She was honest, dedicated, so easy talk to and so calm. She embodied life and taught our kids how to have fun, be alive — and most importantly, be children!
It has taken me 24 hours to publish this blog because every time I write it, I get emotional. I am still shocked, and yet I am just one parent who was touched by her life. I wanted to share this story with you because these moments remind you that life is precious. She was my age. She leaves behind a 7-year-old son named Nicholas.
“In My Life” by The Beatles
There are places I’ll remember
All my life, though some have changed
Some forever, not for better
Some have gone and some remain
All this places have their moments
With lovers and friends I still can recall
Some are dead and some are living
In my life, I’ve loved them all
But of all these friends and lovers
There is no one compares with you
And these memories lose their meaning
When I think of love as something new
Though I know I’ll never lose affection
For people and things that went before
I know I’ll often stop and think about them
In my life, I love you more
Though I know I’ll never lose affection
For people and things that went before
I know I’ll often stop and think about them
In my life, I love you more
In my life– I love you more
Comment by Ron
Mar 12th, 2008 at 6:03 pm
You really made the points about how we should enjoy every moment. And some things we put so much emphasis on are really not important at all.
Comment by Beginnings parent
Mar 12th, 2008 at 10:38 pm
It is beyond words how sad Lisa’s death is. She was my child’s teacher, but also a little bit ours. She was this kind soul, who would always try to make you feel good. It is very hard to process that this most generous person is no longer part of our lives. To see her son today at the funeral was devastating. God I wish I could make him feel good and touch upon his life the way she did for my child. With your blog, at least there is a reference for Lisa out there. Thank you for that!
Comment by Burnsie
Mar 13th, 2008 at 1:14 am
What a sad, sad, tragic story. When someone dies unexpectedly it does cause an examination of what is truly important and that is family and the people with whom we are connected, that is what nourishes our soul and ultimately, that is all we have. All else seems to pale in comparison, for while anyway, until life moves on. And then the hyper-tasking (new term for multi-tasking at a great speed) begins again…
And John Lennon did have a way with a song from the heart, didn’t he?
“You don’t take nothing with you but your soul. Think.” - John Lennon
Comment by Kurt Francis
Mar 13th, 2008 at 5:44 am
Alexis:
Good article, and good reminder of just how precious and tenuous life really is. I am a 42 yo design engineer who while working with technology everyday, find myself questioning just how intrusive I want technology to intrude into my life. Technology is a two-edged sword. Unfortunately, too many people (myself included) allow the “need” to be connected through technology to interfere with one’s real life. Far too many of us forget that we work to support our lives, not the other way around. Unfortunately, work seems to have become life for far too many Americans. A sad development in the development of man. Make sure to keep your work in perspective, Alexis. Your boys will not remember you as a good worker. They will, however, remember whether you were a good mom or not. Good luck to you!
Kurt Francis
Lebanon, OH
Comment by chuck harrison
Mar 13th, 2008 at 3:39 pm
I enjoy each day. Each morning. Sieze the day,Capier Diem!
For example I worked as a movie extra and I get an oppertunity to brag that I saw George Clooney and I really did. Here’s some other pointers I learned:
Tell a woman how beautiful she is on your lunch break.
Ladies tell a man how handsome he is.
Do something different.
Shake up everyone’s routine
Be a role model.
But most of all be yourself in this crazy multitasking universe we’re in.
Comment by Lynnette
Mar 13th, 2008 at 9:59 pm
Alexis, this is so hard, you are so right. She was so embracing and loving! As a devastated co-worker and friend that adored her and “worked the backyard” with her everyday, I can speak for us all that she is so missed. What I wouldn’t give to her voice again. That distinctively beautiful “jewish/jersey accent” voice, and her huge heart,hysterically funny comments, beautiful tattoos, larger than life personality and style, and her capacity to love and support were just some of the traits that Lisa will forever be remembered by. She loved her son so much! She talked about him and showed off the latest pictures consistently. His picture still hangs on our fridge as a reminder of what is now her legacy. We will miss her. We will miss her so much. This was hard to write. But I’m glad I did. Thank you for all your support. -L
Comment by Bob Finkle
Mar 16th, 2008 at 10:41 am
I knew Lisa for 30 years, as we attended college together in the late 1970’s. Our circle of friends was like a warm, loving family, and we spent much time together. We had a lot of fun, and the life lessons we learned then were timeless and invaluable. We were extremely close, and I considered her as a “little sister” to me.
Fast forward 30 years, and she was the same wonderful, giving person. A ray of hope and sunshine. And now, a devoted and loving mom, and a friend to all who knew her.
Lisa will be so sorely missed.
The sun shines just a little less brightly. The birds’song is not quite as sweet.
The pain from this loss will be permanent. The void created enormous.
“All I know is something like a bird within her sang
All I know, she sang a little while and then flew on”
(Robert Hunter)
Comment by Stephanie
Mar 16th, 2008 at 6:57 pm
Lisa was one of my college roommates. We lost touch over the years but reaquainted recently. I feel so cheated and sad. You think you still have time to do things with people and we’re never guaranteed another day. I loved Lisa and will miss her. She had a special way about her and she knew how to have fun. We had lots of fun in college and I’ll treasure those youthful memories forever.
Comment by A former classmate of Lisa's
Mar 16th, 2008 at 8:10 pm
Thank you so much for posting this. I had the pleasure of taking classes with Lisa at Bank Street College and getting to know her and hearing about her wonderful son. Since I only knew Lisa for a short time, I do not know any of her friends or family. So, I was wondering if there was any further information about her death. If anyone knows any information, please share. Thank you so much.
Comment by Ann Weisenhoff
Mar 17th, 2008 at 10:36 pm
I just want to convey my appreciation for your memories of my sister in law. We have been overwhelmed with emotion as we hear the sentiments of her friends, coworkers and the parents at her preschool.
As you have described, Lisa was a kind, loving, compassionate, and humble person. She truly appreciated life’s simple pleasures and cherished the many gifts that were bestowed on her, especially her family, her friends, and her students. She was so grateful for the miracle of her son, Nicholas, who she adored, nurtured, and protected. She cherished her parents and reminded them of her devotion by her daily calls and frequent visits. She was thankful for her new career in early education and often spoke fondly of her classes at Bank Steet and her students at Beginnings.
We are devastated by her loss and extremly worried about her son. However, it has been a huge consolation to the family to witness the outpouring of affection and support for Lisa and Nicholas. We are hopeful that her gentle, kind, and loving spirit will survive and help guide us through some rough waters. Your comments are deeply appreciated and very therapeutic for her family to read, share, and preserve.
Comment by Robin, Bank Street Classmate
Mar 18th, 2008 at 5:57 pm
Alexis,
Thank you for your blog and giving people a place to talk about Lisa. Lisa and I had a couple of classes together at Bank Street but, most recently, we were both members of the Topics in Mathematics course, a required class for those stuents who did not take math in college. With such few students in the class, many of us so close to our graduation date, we just tried to have as much fun as possible. Lisa made Monday nights bearable with her laughter, her enthusiasm, and her witty sarcasm that was always inserted at just the right time during the evening.
On the day that Lisa passed away, we all sat there in class waiting for her to show up. We did not recieve the tragic news until a couple of days later. Class was not the same without Lisa that night nor will it be the same for the remainder of the semester.
I just received my letter about graduation in the mail today and I thought of Lisa, how close she was to completing her degree and how very, very sad it is that she will not be there with me on graduation day. I am strongly in support of Bank Street’s motion to award Lisa her degree posthumously as I think it is the best possible gesture for a woman, a teacher, and a mother who worked so hard to get down to her last few months as a graduate student.
She will be missed…
Comment by Student of Bank Street
Mar 18th, 2008 at 7:41 pm
Life is too short and moments are precious and should be enjoyed. Our prayers go out to Lisa’s Family and especially for Nicholas. Thank you Alexis for recognizing the hard work and dedication of an educator. God Bless